I live in a furnace called Queensland.
It’s a pleasant place (actually, pretty darn spectacular) most of the time. Just not when there’s a heatwave.
There’s a heatwave. It’s been going for almost a week and it’s hot. Bloody hot.
Unfortunately, a reprieve is not in sight.
Temperatures are tipped to climb as high as eight degrees above average as a second heatwave (yes, we get two…aren’t we lucky?) in as many weeks makes its way across the east coast.
Did I mention that it’s hot here? I’m not sure if I did, since the heat is making me a bit woozy.
So, to recap, it’s hot. Also, here are 20 thoughts I’ve had while sweating it out.
It will give you an insight into how I’m coping… I’m not.
- It’s time to wake up. I’m going to drown myself in a cold shower immediately.
- What on Earth can I wear? Corporate dress etiquette and the fiery pits of hell don’t go well hand in hand. Dark colours hide sweat patches, right?
- Why am I even attempting to put on makeup right now? It is literally melting off in front of me. Sweat moustaches really aren’t a good look on me.
- The humidity. Oh the humanity. Also, my hair is not coping. Buns all week it is.
- It’s a crime that I have to get public transport in this heat. I need floo powder. Magic may be out of reach, but I’d settle for travelling like a dolphin and being hosed down.
- How is that woman wearing a jacket and long pants right now? Where does she come from that this weather is any way tolerable? Get changed at work, crazy lady!
- I’ve made it past the threshold. I am at work. This air-conditioning is pure bliss. Can I live here? The building is alarmed, so no I can’t.
- Wait, coffee. I love my morning coffee ritual. But it’s so hot, and so is my beloved coffee.
- How do those women look so put together and happy? What deal did they make with the devil to be so unaffected by this heat? Is said deal still on the table?
- Am I waiting for a train on a platform or a pit of fire? My train is delayed. I may not make it.
- I’m home. This is awful. I need a Hydralyte.
- Now is literally the worst possible time for my air-conditioning to be broken. How hard is it to order a part? Can we pay extra for quick shipping?
- What type of person doesn’t put in ceiling fans when building a house in Queensland? An insane one, that’s whom.
- If I lay really still with two fans directed on me I may stop sweating. Hah, you poor deluded fool. Wrong!
- How am I ever going to sleep in this? Oh right, I won’t. How much sleep do you really need to function anyway?
- I don’t care if anyone can see in and the sunlight starts coming in at 4am, I’m sleeping with every window and curtain open.
- I can’t believe I’m jogging in this heat. How is it this hot at 6am?
- I’m just going to walk slowly for a moment in this shade until I can force myself to keep moving.
- Why are people just leaving for their run now? Maniacs.
- What do you mean there’s a second heat wave coming? The first one is still here!!!
Thanks for stopping by. I hope to survive this heat and be back blogging soon.
Until next time,
My Eclectic Muse x